Rock And A Hard Place

I don't have a degree in anything, especially raising kids.  I don't have a magic wand to make everything better.  I don't know how the same male and female can have two kids that are totally opposite.  I don't know how much I like it.  The reason for this is you CAN see both sides of the story.  You CAN understand how everyone feels, and you CAN'T do anything to change it. The fetal position is not an option......

I have the child that no one understands.  I have a child that everyone understands.  I have one that can't find a best friend to save his life, but wants one soooo bad. I have a child that has too many best friends, but is so confident she doesn't need one.  I have a child that socially doesn't understand, but needs social in his life.  I have a child that socially gets it all, but sometimes wants to stay home and veg.  I beg mom's around me hinting to have my child over to hang out.  I have mom's begging and hinting to me to have their child over to hang out.

I have both sides of the story and neither one is easy.  I can't understand why you don't want to hang out with my child.  I can understand why my child doesn't want to hang out with your child.  How is this possible?  To have your child home and safe where you know what they are doing is great, but aren't they suppose to be out with friends?  To have your child out with friends all the time is so refreshing, but shouldn't they want to hang out with you and be home? How can this world be full of so much opposite in such a small home.

I do know that everyone should be nice.  I do know that everyone has someone out their that needs a friend.  I do know that this opposition has made my kids more aware of how people feel.  It has made them understand that being nice is important.  If anything it has made the confident one more aware of people that aren't "popular".  My less confident one more aware of people that aren't "popular".  It has made me confident that I am raising amazing kids, that I am proud to say are mine.  Isn't that most important raising amazing kids.  When this life of "popularity" ends, and they are all adults.  They will be amazing.

It Just Came To Me

I wake up roll over and look at the clock 5:45 a.m. Let the day begin!  Another day of worrying about the life of my teenager.  You see life for him has not been easy.  He suffers from severe anxiety.  Which I don’t understand and it make zero sense to me.  I do know that I can tell days when is more anxious as opposed to days he probably feels “normal”.  My job as a mother is to make him successful, and to fit into society.  Which has proven to be rather difficult when what is in his head is more powerful then what comes out of my mouth.  I have been thinking of a way to make this 14 year old, awkward, not comfortable in his own skin teenager, see him how others do. 

I was mopping the kitchen floor and it came to me.  He needs 30 day of positive.  How does a mother do 30 days of positive when what he tells himself is more powerful? I went to the ever so popular facebook.  I just posted a simple statement, “I am looking for people to write letters to “Joe” with some positive qualities.  Please, email me a letter if you would like to”. (Vague is sometimes good). I also emailed some teachers and just asked them if they wanted to participate.  I than received from friends, neighbors, family, and people I never thought would, letters to “Joe”.  Brought tears to this mom’s eyes.

I have been leaving one on his bed every day while he is at school.  He will continue to receive them for a whole month. The change in his attitude, and self esteem is amazing.  Who wouldn’t want a letters from people that tell you the good they see in you?  I would highly recommend this to any mother who has the teenager that is struggling.  I promise you won’t regret it.  

Argh

I remember sitting in the Dr office at the age of 23 with butterflies in my stomach.  I remember the Dr walking in and saying "yep, you are pregnant".  I remember the feeling of elation, I felt like I was floating on a cloud.  I remember the day he was born.  I remember the joy of laying him on my chest.  This tiniest little creature so perfect.  He was beautiful and peaceful.  I remember very distinctively thinking, "how could anybody yell at their kids".  I thought, "I will never yell or spank him, he is perfect."  Oh how naive I was.

Let's fast forward 14 years.  I feel like this is the stuff no one warned you about.  They warn you about the birth, teething, potty training, first day of kindergarten.  They never tell you "Your kid could suffer from extreme anxiety.  Your kid might not have friends in school.  Your kid might forget to turn in his homework he worked on for 3 hours the night before.  Your kid might just struggle with everyday life."  I have heard so many mom's say that "I love this stage you can chat with them".  I am not such a fan.  My life is go to sleep worrying about them, waking up worrying about them, waiting for the school to call me with bad news the whole time they are their.  Waiting for a friend to call to "hang" after school so they feel like they have friends and fit in.  Then when the "friend" calls you realize it is a friend you don't want your kid to have and you are torn.  Torn with them actually having someone to hang with, and torn that they are not the best choice.  ARGH..... I deem this stage as the hardest.  Then you have a friends with the same age kid.  Their kid has friends beating down the door.  Their kid has 4.0, there kid doesn't have anxiety.  You began to feel that life really isn't fair, not that it has ever been.  But, you wonder why do some kids have it so easy and others don't?  

I just feel like my job as a mother has gotten harder.  My pay has never increased, oh wait,  I was never paid.  I feel that it would be easier to live on a desert island with myself only!! My whoa for a late Saturday evening

Beast Child Gone Man

My life as the parent of a teenage boy is not glamorous.  Most days it entails obnoxious want to pull my hair out kind of situations.  Days where I wonder if I hung a for sale sign around his neck who would purchase such a child.  I realize I had a sweet boy that thought I hung the moon.  Then he entered beast child mode.  He has testosterone pumping through this child size man.  Not going to lie, it can get hairy at times. We have had our ups and downs.  The days he comes home from jr high beaming from ear to ear, like a little child.  Then the days he comes home beaten physically and mentally.  Those are the ones where I turn beast mom and would love to drive to the bully and the bully parents house and show my teeth.  (Maybe, my beast child got half beast from me.  I can’t blame it all on the testosterone.) 

As, the parent of a teenage boy there are many things we have to endure.  Puberty is one of them, boys 8^th grade choir is another.  Both of these could be considered mildly painful.  I find myself in both of these stages.  Tonight, as I sit in the boys choir recital,  I look around the auditorium I realize I am not alone in this situation.  Here sit plenty of parents with beast teenagers trying to turn into adults.  We all have one goal; get them through this awkward stage of life. 

As I sit at the choir performance.  The choir teacher whom, I believe must be an angle trapped in this life.  Try as she might she can not find her way to heaven.  Who else would take on 36 rambunctious, testosterone, ridden boys? She motions to the all of the boys on stage, they enter from the right.  I watch for my beast child to file in.  Then I notice he is entering from the left. My beast child was pushing a fellow choir mate in a wheel chair.  I watch as they wait for all boys to take their spot.  I for a second, get a glimpse of my beast child being a man.  With pure love and kindness he fist bumps the boy.  My heart beams with joy, thinking “you done good mama, you done good”.  As they come to their last song all the boys turn around.  I watch the boy with cerebral palsy try to turn his head, since he can not turn his wheel chair around.  As the last song starts they flip around every boy with a mustache on.  I see my beast child once again transform from, oh so obnoxious, to caring.  He sees his buddy can’t get his mustache on, and leans down to help.  Once, again I am beaming.  That will probably be the only time in my life that 8^th grade boys choir brings me to tears of joy.

My beast child that has so much energy, the same one that bugs his sisters to tears.  The boy that has made me feel like “I just might of screwed up when I raised this one”.  The one that has been bullied and stayed home a day or two from jr high because, “he just can’t face it”.  This beast child gave me a glimpse of what kind of man he is.  I couldn’t be prouder!  I no longer wish he could just fit in.  I no longer hope he could be popular.  I am proud of who he is, and what he does.

The Naked Trend!

As I am out with my husband, we always seem to find ourselves laughing.  Laughing at what you might ask?  Well, it is the women and their leggings, or jeggings, or as my hubby calls them yoga pants.  As, we walk into restaurants to eat or Costco to shop we find ourselves saying "yoga pants".  As I think of these women, I can say "there is nothing wrong with that".  Every dimple, ripple, and curve showing through.  They might as well be naked right. I can't help but to take myself to the land of men.  Let's change it around.  What if we were to walk into Costco and  all the men were wearing tights?  Tights like the ballerinos, men ballet dancers.  I don't know if you have ever gotten close to a male ballet dancer, but sometimes you are able to see through there pants.  Sometimes you can see the butt hair.  What would children and women think if they saw this everyday?  How much food would we eat when we go to a restaurant and there is a male in there tights?  Now I am not saying men are gross.  I am just saying it probably would not be very attractive.  Imagine all the ripples, dimples, and curves of a man.  Now us as women aren't visual like men.  Really  everywhere are women in there new trend, "practically naked trend".  Let's just pray this trend is not around for long, and let us hope that men don't decide leggings, jeggings, or yoga pants are for them.  Just a little food for thought on this Wednesday afternoon.

SS Sitirrer

Everyone has one, everyone knows one, hopefully you aren't one.  It is the poop stirrer of the family.  The one that carriers a wooden spoon in their back pocket to all the family functions.  They like to sit with a smile on their face and act all innocent.  Then the spoon in the back pocket starts to hurt while sitting.  They pull the stirrer out and start stirring.  Sometimes, I find this amusing.  Other times I want to act like I am two years old and throw a temper tantrum, and tell them to stop.    May your Holiday spoonless.  Because, I know mine won't.

Nothing But The KY

Life is filled with moments that shape you.  Moments that make you who you are.  Not me.  I mostly have moments that make me want to crawl into a hole.  My favorite was when my hubby and I first got married.  Now, you have to remember this was in the time before cell phones.  It was 17 years ago.  It wasn't so easy to get a hold of people.  B's parents called and said they were stopping by in a couple of minutes.  Well, there idea of minutes and our idea of minutes are quite different.  As newlyweds we started to find other things we wanted to do.  B said he would call his sister and see if they had left her house.  I decided to scare him.  Hiding in the closet with my KY jelly, and nothing else.  Giggling and thinking I am going to get him so good!  I waited and waited, but nothing.  He took such a long time to come into the room that I decided to run  into the living room with nothing but my KY in hand.  To my surprise my father-in-law, mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and bro-in-law.  Stood staring at their new naked family member.  The good news is I was 19, and everything was still cute, perky, and fit.  The bad news- they stayed and stayed.  I dressed myself, and started doing dishes.  Wishing they would leave, no such luck.  Needless to say, since this time in my newly married life there has been lots of naked moments. Stay tune you won't be disappointed!