Rock And A Hard Place

I don't have a degree in anything, especially raising kids.  I don't have a magic wand to make everything better.  I don't know how the same male and female can have two kids that are totally opposite.  I don't know how much I like it.  The reason for this is you CAN see both sides of the story.  You CAN understand how everyone feels, and you CAN'T do anything to change it. The fetal position is not an option......

I have the child that no one understands.  I have a child that everyone understands.  I have one that can't find a best friend to save his life, but wants one soooo bad. I have a child that has too many best friends, but is so confident she doesn't need one.  I have a child that socially doesn't understand, but needs social in his life.  I have a child that socially gets it all, but sometimes wants to stay home and veg.  I beg mom's around me hinting to have my child over to hang out.  I have mom's begging and hinting to me to have their child over to hang out.

I have both sides of the story and neither one is easy.  I can't understand why you don't want to hang out with my child.  I can understand why my child doesn't want to hang out with your child.  How is this possible?  To have your child home and safe where you know what they are doing is great, but aren't they suppose to be out with friends?  To have your child out with friends all the time is so refreshing, but shouldn't they want to hang out with you and be home? How can this world be full of so much opposite in such a small home.

I do know that everyone should be nice.  I do know that everyone has someone out their that needs a friend.  I do know that this opposition has made my kids more aware of how people feel.  It has made them understand that being nice is important.  If anything it has made the confident one more aware of people that aren't "popular".  My less confident one more aware of people that aren't "popular".  It has made me confident that I am raising amazing kids, that I am proud to say are mine.  Isn't that most important raising amazing kids.  When this life of "popularity" ends, and they are all adults.  They will be amazing.

It Just Came To Me

I wake up roll over and look at the clock 5:45 a.m. Let the day begin!  Another day of worrying about the life of my teenager.  You see life for him has not been easy.  He suffers from severe anxiety.  Which I don’t understand and it make zero sense to me.  I do know that I can tell days when is more anxious as opposed to days he probably feels “normal”.  My job as a mother is to make him successful, and to fit into society.  Which has proven to be rather difficult when what is in his head is more powerful then what comes out of my mouth.  I have been thinking of a way to make this 14 year old, awkward, not comfortable in his own skin teenager, see him how others do. 

I was mopping the kitchen floor and it came to me.  He needs 30 day of positive.  How does a mother do 30 days of positive when what he tells himself is more powerful? I went to the ever so popular facebook.  I just posted a simple statement, “I am looking for people to write letters to “Joe” with some positive qualities.  Please, email me a letter if you would like to”. (Vague is sometimes good). I also emailed some teachers and just asked them if they wanted to participate.  I than received from friends, neighbors, family, and people I never thought would, letters to “Joe”.  Brought tears to this mom’s eyes.

I have been leaving one on his bed every day while he is at school.  He will continue to receive them for a whole month. The change in his attitude, and self esteem is amazing.  Who wouldn’t want a letters from people that tell you the good they see in you?  I would highly recommend this to any mother who has the teenager that is struggling.  I promise you won’t regret it.  

Argh

I remember sitting in the Dr office at the age of 23 with butterflies in my stomach.  I remember the Dr walking in and saying "yep, you are pregnant".  I remember the feeling of elation, I felt like I was floating on a cloud.  I remember the day he was born.  I remember the joy of laying him on my chest.  This tiniest little creature so perfect.  He was beautiful and peaceful.  I remember very distinctively thinking, "how could anybody yell at their kids".  I thought, "I will never yell or spank him, he is perfect."  Oh how naive I was.

Let's fast forward 14 years.  I feel like this is the stuff no one warned you about.  They warn you about the birth, teething, potty training, first day of kindergarten.  They never tell you "Your kid could suffer from extreme anxiety.  Your kid might not have friends in school.  Your kid might forget to turn in his homework he worked on for 3 hours the night before.  Your kid might just struggle with everyday life."  I have heard so many mom's say that "I love this stage you can chat with them".  I am not such a fan.  My life is go to sleep worrying about them, waking up worrying about them, waiting for the school to call me with bad news the whole time they are their.  Waiting for a friend to call to "hang" after school so they feel like they have friends and fit in.  Then when the "friend" calls you realize it is a friend you don't want your kid to have and you are torn.  Torn with them actually having someone to hang with, and torn that they are not the best choice.  ARGH..... I deem this stage as the hardest.  Then you have a friends with the same age kid.  Their kid has friends beating down the door.  Their kid has 4.0, there kid doesn't have anxiety.  You began to feel that life really isn't fair, not that it has ever been.  But, you wonder why do some kids have it so easy and others don't?  

I just feel like my job as a mother has gotten harder.  My pay has never increased, oh wait,  I was never paid.  I feel that it would be easier to live on a desert island with myself only!! My whoa for a late Saturday evening