Argh

I remember sitting in the Dr office at the age of 23 with butterflies in my stomach.  I remember the Dr walking in and saying "yep, you are pregnant".  I remember the feeling of elation, I felt like I was floating on a cloud.  I remember the day he was born.  I remember the joy of laying him on my chest.  This tiniest little creature so perfect.  He was beautiful and peaceful.  I remember very distinctively thinking, "how could anybody yell at their kids".  I thought, "I will never yell or spank him, he is perfect."  Oh how naive I was.

Let's fast forward 14 years.  I feel like this is the stuff no one warned you about.  They warn you about the birth, teething, potty training, first day of kindergarten.  They never tell you "Your kid could suffer from extreme anxiety.  Your kid might not have friends in school.  Your kid might forget to turn in his homework he worked on for 3 hours the night before.  Your kid might just struggle with everyday life."  I have heard so many mom's say that "I love this stage you can chat with them".  I am not such a fan.  My life is go to sleep worrying about them, waking up worrying about them, waiting for the school to call me with bad news the whole time they are their.  Waiting for a friend to call to "hang" after school so they feel like they have friends and fit in.  Then when the "friend" calls you realize it is a friend you don't want your kid to have and you are torn.  Torn with them actually having someone to hang with, and torn that they are not the best choice.  ARGH..... I deem this stage as the hardest.  Then you have a friends with the same age kid.  Their kid has friends beating down the door.  Their kid has 4.0, there kid doesn't have anxiety.  You began to feel that life really isn't fair, not that it has ever been.  But, you wonder why do some kids have it so easy and others don't?  

I just feel like my job as a mother has gotten harder.  My pay has never increased, oh wait,  I was never paid.  I feel that it would be easier to live on a desert island with myself only!! My whoa for a late Saturday evening